Creating a family changes and expands your identity. This is true for all parents (heterosexual, LGBTQIA+ or single) and any manner a family is created (pregnancy, surrogacy, adoption, or blended). Any stage of parenting from thinking about it through to empty nesting benefits from exploration. Therapy can help with understanding what to anticipate, improve communication and reduce the intensity around issues knowing you have a safe place to explore them. This can result in more flexibility when the inevitable unexpected happens. Family of origin patterns will emerge and therapy can help with the impact. Beginning therapy in advance of starting a family is beneficial to clarify expectations and establishing a comfortable relationship with a therapist for when things become challenging. In addition there are societal and occupational pressures at play. Post-partum depression, non-birthing parent depression, anxiety and loneliness are common among parents. 

 

All individuals may be wondering…​

• How can I be expected to know how to mother or father when I have never been one?

• What if I love my child but don’t love parenting as much as I think I should?

• What happened to who I was before? Are there parts of me I miss now that I am a parent?

• Am I more or less valuable as a working parent?

• Am I a bad parent if I want to keep working full time? Will my child suffer?

• What kind of parent am I? What if I am not the parent I want to be?

• Will I be judged if struggling or overwhelmed?

• What kind of partner am I now that I am also a parent?

• Has my identity shifted in my family of origin?

• Has my identity shifted in my extended family, including my partner’s family and friends?

• Have I changed as a friend?

• What if I feel lonely, bored, depressed or anxious? Does that make me a bad parent?

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